I dressed as a cat.

Okay, so I haven't really blogged in a while. I came on to read the blogs that I haven't really been paying much attention too and like usual, they inspired me or like made me want to write again :)

On Friday, I dressed up as a cat to raise money for Children In Need and raised quite a bit of money to be fair. But like before that, like the night before, I was being pessimistic to say the least. I was thinking about everything and looking at the bad side of it which wasn't good as it seems to make the whole thing worse. I was thinking how things are going to change between me and Charlie when she has her baby, how I don't see Rob and how he is busy and doesn't have time to talk to me anymore, how GB is just being stupid at the moment, how my family are driving me insane and that I can't wait too move out, how I have so much work to do and how stressful every aspect of my life. The thing that kind of sent me over the edge was the fact that it was meant to rain and that it would smudge my face paints!

But anyway, I was talking to Charlie and she said to stay thinking positive. At the time, I thought that was a pretty stupid thing to do because if things are going to go wrong then no amount of positive thinking is going to stop that. But she was proved to be right, like always. Friday was a great day and yeah bad things happened but because I didn't let them get to me, they didnt seem that bad!?

Basically the point that I am trying to make is that bad things are going to happen so what is the point dwelling on them or thinking about them all of the time!? I mean I could put the negative thoughts on the fact that Charlie is preganant so she is going to be busy and isnt going to have as much time for me, also that she has her own kid and she wont need me anymore. But then the positive side is so much more attractive: She will be an absolutely amazing mum, she is going to need a lot of support and yeah I am only fifteen but even if she just needs to talk i will be there, it could bring us closer together, her feelings aren't gonna change towards me so why should mine change!?

So yeah, stay positive guys- it makes bad things have a happier kind of lining!?

Everyone drifts apart.

I was on MSN earlier and I was talking to one of our girls from GB. She is two years younger than me and is in the section below me but our sections join together (it makes it easier) and she is friends with my sister and I am friends with her older sister. She has never really spoken to me about her problems before- maybe me being sisters with one of her mates makes it difficult for her to speak to me or trust me but she spoke to me today.

She was upset because her best friends have organised a day out shopping on Wednesday and seem to have forgotten to invite her along and think its ok to talk about when she is there or put it in their MSN names. So yeah, she was very upset and you know what, she actually reminded me of me!? Yeah, that sounds very weird but I went through a patch where I seemed to be losing my friends and I am drifting away from some now- I think that as you get older, you just wise to the people you are friends with and actually realise what they are really like. So yeah, a few weeks ago I was upset about the whol friend thing and I remember talking to Charlie and Vic (staff from GB) about it and they made me feel so much better.

So, here I am, age fifteen giving advice to a girl who is only two years younger than me and sounding a lot older but I think I got the message across. Firstly, if your best friends are going to organise something, not invite you and then talk about it infront of you then are they really people you want to be hanging around with!? I told her to maybe organise something with her other friends and not invite those who she deemed her best friends to start with. Then, I told her that we drift apart from people we thought we would be friends forever with. I mean, in primary school, we all had that one best friend forever didnt we, and I bet that most people lose touch with that friend as soon as primary school is over or high school finishes!? But yeah, you cant stick with the same people forever, it doesnt work like that, you learn who is worth being friends with and who is just a waste of space.

Thats when I got the comeback: "But I seem to be losing them all at once." Well if thats the case, have you tried talking to them? Maybe, just maybe, they don't realise they are leaving you out and they aren't doing it on purpose to upset you. Then, after talking to them you find yes they were aware of it, then why be friends with them? They obviously don't care how you feel or how much they are making you hurt. If the roles were reversed, I bet they would be the first to complain.

Also, you could maybe hang out with people outside your group. Think about it, the people that are always there for you no matter what are usually the people who you don't class as your best friends. I know when I lose friends the people that are always there actually surprise me in being there or I had never thought about them that way. And, you never know, it could have been meant to be, you might find the best friend who understands you and accepts you for who you really are.

So,I guess what I'm trying to say is no matter how old or young you are (and this might sound patronising coming from a fifteen year old!?) we all lose friends- sometimes it feels like for the better, others for the worst but at the end of the day, its part of life. Its what makes us stronger as a person and it helps us to learn who we can rely on and who to trust. I think you will be surprised at who will be there for you all the time, no matter what through everything you face. I fell out with my best mate two years ago, we don't talk much anymore but whenever one of us is upset there is always at least a hug there or a chat to help them through. After being best friends with someone, you still share a bond, its only natural. So yeah, stay positive  :)

A whole tub of Nutella.

Okay, so I have been having a real horrible day today. I woke up this morning and I actually could hardly walk cos I had the worst cramps ever. I thought that I was going to be okay for the last day of school cos I was alright last night but I tell you what, it was the worst pain ever. I mean, last night, Vic was ill off GB so she asked me to take over the badgework for the little ones so being the kind person I am I said yeah cos I hate to see them in the dark. So I went just hoping that I wouldnt have one of my mood swings cos I really cant control them and I didnt want to upset the little kids! But yeah, it all went well so I was optimistic about today but as you gathered it didnt work like that. So, I had the day off school and I have never been so bored ever!! I hate feeling like this cos I am so much more emotional than usual and I really cant help it. Last night, I was just like sat there crying for no reason and I couldnt even stop it. I've spent all day looking for chocolate but I couldnt find any and so had to settle for a whole tub of nutella! Haha- highlight of my day. And now, I have a whole week off school but my parents are home all week so its gonna be pants. Plus, they will be making a list of chores as long as my arm for me to do but I'll be out cos I am not staying here all week, I tell you that now. Vic says that anytime I want to go shopping or something to text her and hopefully I will get to see Charlie sometime in the holiday- I just wont tell my mum and dad where I am going ;) cos they will only react anyway. They always do.